Electronic Break Up

Dear Dude,

I'm writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you're a total loser? You've changed too much since we met, and I don't like it. I can't believe how selfish you are. Relationships are supposed to be about sharing, jerk. Your arrogance seems to have no limits; it's as if you think you're actually somebody. I know you'll probably tell everyone that you dumped me, because you're a liar. But everyone knows that already, so they won't believe you. You couldn't even pass your exams without cheating; I should have known you'd cheat on me too, prick. I called the nursery school program, and they agreed to let you in after they assessed your maturity level. It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you're just plain bad at sex. You know, a little respect can go a long way. But the amount of respect you give me is only enough for ME to go a long way. A long way away from you, douchebag. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Maybe part of the problem is that you drink so much. You can't actually call gin-flakes or beerios breakfast. I'm fed up with kissing an ashtray and seeing you waste your money on cancer sticks every day. It's disgusting. Doing drugs so much really got in the way of more important things. You need to clean yourself up. Why do you have to be so messy? How hard is it to put your dirty underwear in the laundry machine and wash a few dishes now and again? Frankly, you just don't care enough about me. Luckily I care enough about me to make up for it, by saying goodbye to you. I can't believe you forgot my birthday! Who does that? The fact that you forgot our anniversary just confirms that it's time for "we" to become "me." Here's some food for thought: you're a Richard! It's not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you're pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that. I also really need more space, I don't like feeling like an elephant in a telephone booth. I hope you understand. I don't know how to break it to you, but I found someone else to replace you. You know what they say: out with the old, in with the new! The wise Righteous Brothers wrote a song called "You've lost that lovin' feeling." You might want to listen to it a few times, because I've lost that loving feeling. I don't really do the whole long distance relationship thing. New area code, new market, and it's time for me to go shopping.

Some people get very little money out of their job. Some people get dumped. Joy of joys, you get both. Why do you spend so little money on me? Buying me a happy meal at McDonald's does not count as taking me out to dinner. If you ever get engaged, just remember that an onion ring is not a valid replacement for a wedding ring. You're like cling wrap around me, but what you need to realize is that I am not a vegetable and your clinginess is unbearable. Sometimes you need to take things a bit slower, and just have fun. Unfortunately, this relationship is becoming too serious for my tastes. And as if that wasn't enough, you have to criticize me all the time! Now it's my turn to be the critic. I give you one thumb up: stick it up your ass! All that nagging of yours worked, assuming your intent was to get rid of me. At first I couldn't understand what smelled so bad when I spent time with you, but now it's clear: you're spoiled like a piece of meat left out in the sun. You don't live in a soap opera, so quit causing so much drama. I'm not a puppet, you can't just control me by pulling on a string, so why do you try to control everything I do? I need my freedom, and there's nothing you can do about it. Another problem is that you're irresponsible, and I just don't want to put up with the consequences of your decisions anymore. What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!

Even though our relationship is at its end, I hope we can still be friends. It's not you, it's me. Really. You're more like a sibling to me, you know? Give me back my keys, I don't want you coming around here anymore. You may not have realized, but I saw you with him, you fat-fried hamburger-humper! You may not have realized, but I saw you with her, you greasy-heeled anus-sniffer! It may be a typical line, but it's true: we just aren't meant for each other. I may love you, but I'm definitely not in love with you. You're gonna have to learn to accept that. Why are you so boring? I've seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I'm sure we'll see each other again, if you're ok with it. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.

I hope maggots devour your testicles,
Jill




I found this website somewhat amusing

breakupemail.com
and then I clicked everything on it

カレーライス

DINNERRRRRRR infront of the laptop

The aftermath.

I made my own japanese styled curry rice today! It was sorta stupid, I put in too many potatoes, lots of onion and carrot and I only remembered to put in broccoli after I turned the gas off - so had to turn gas back on (fail).

What can I say, its a start! but I am no chef. (oh noes!! DD:)

It felt satisfying to cook my own meal!

but not satisfying enough, I didn't have the correct cut of meat so VEGE CURRY.

Eww. I need my meat!

Dying from lack of meat in today's meals.

Updates!

She was totally waving to me!!!

YEAHH I WAS THERE

*******************

CHRISTMAS LUNCH!

Lunch prepared and made by my sister =)

Merry Christmas

Let us not forget the real meaning of Christmas.
It signifies the birth of our Lord and Saviour ; Jesus Christ.
Today is a joyous day for all as all those who believe have been saved from God's wrath (ironically through God's mercy).
The grace that we cannot replace.

I thank the Lord

• For protecting me this year 
• For leading me through paths even when things seemed dark
• For opening my eyes to things
• For helping me see what is important 

and I pray that everyone has had a terrific Christmas!

Now time to get ready for boxing day sale fights!

My bad! the last post was 524

Whoops this is actually my 525th post since 2007!

Christmas is nearing! and as tradition I usually post up some weird/funny Christmas themed pictures.

I should really create an anthology of random funny crap I find on the internet and sell it to people and make heaps of money off other people's misfortunes HOOOOOO.

 

Yeah I want that too Santa. 

I sense a wave coming after a long period of calm water. Man I really have been watching too much One Piece.

523

This is my 523rd blog and I thought it was just a coincidence that Shirley has 253 blog posts.

My internet keeps screwing up these days and its quite annoying, I hate you optus!

Fun fact : my parents went overseas
Fun fact 2 : I can't cook
Fun fact 3 : I made omurice but by watching a lady with a dog cook, I bet the dog is better than me
Fun fact 4 : I've been having stomach aches ever since lunch.

Diagnosis :

1. From eating a rotten cucumber
   In my defense! my mum always says that its fine as long as you cut off the rotton part so thats what I did! and it looked totally fine - just like what a normal cucumber looks like. 
2. Semi cold rice?
   Seems stupid
3. Combination of mountain dew and milk tea?

I started watching One Piece (from ep 1), I wonder how long it will take me to finish?

and that ends my mundane holiday life.

ps. Triangle is a really mind blowingly good drama.

ロッテ Fit's LINK CM :: 佐藤健 渡辺直美 : 電車篇

This is apparently the guy version!!!

Spontaneousness!

Spontaneous outings! spontaneous bar hopping and club crashing :D

I had a blast last night with Ms Vicky Chen! The night is young at 10pm, very very young.

illusion absoluteness
followed by some blueberry alize and a lot of wet pussies(?) oh and a disgusting shot of tequila EEK!

= a very good night

Now I'm not one to do this

Presents!!

I got my Maroon 5 concert tickets and a random $10 coles voucher in the mail today :D!!

I can't wait for Maroon 5!! Adam Levine is sooooo hot!!

I just got back from a 5 day trip up to Blacksmiths near Newcastle. I think i slept less than 25 hours over 4 nights and probably ate more junk during those 5 days than during the whole year. (ok maybe that part is a lie..). I promise to update with photos! waiting for uploader..

I'm gonna sing this song

In my life I will see, an end to hopelessness

 or giving up

or suffering

if we all stand together this one time

then no one will get left behind

I'm back from Blacksmiths but I'm not black!  more like red and tender.